Wednesday, October 3, 2012

WHY THE SECRECY? So far, 20 weeks & growing!

It's hard to believe it's already been 20 weeks (& 3 days). The future arrival of our twins is shorter than the journey we've traveled thus far. We've received some awesome 3D pictures of the little womb dwellers from our surrogacy clinic. So cute, but a little alien looking. I'll post them here.


At times, it feels like this has been such a long journey, progressing at a snail's pace. I'm tired of the wait. It's like a long marathon, but the goal is in sight.

 I'm also a little scared. Why? Not at the thought of having kids, twins. After all, I'm a peds nurse. I'm used to screaming sick children, and I've cared for 4 to 12 of them at a time. No, what scares me is loosing the kids. That we may loose them along the way, and they'll never get the chance to be born. That we will have to endure another miscarriage like our first pregnancy.

 As a result of this fear, we've tried to distance ourselves somewhat emotionally from the process. Something easier said than done. To help us do that, we've kept this pregnancy a secret. So, that if things don't work out others won't be effected, disappointed, etc. So, here I am writing a blog for now that is for my eyes only, about our surrogacy journey that is a secret between us. For now at least....

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