Friday, July 20, 2012


twins, 7 Weeks 5 days old...very, very tiny. Hello babies! Please, keep growing :o)

I always wanted a family, but as a single young gay adult never really thought it possible. Then I met John, and my dreams of sharing my life with someone special came true. 

From the very beginning we knew we had much in common. One thing we both shared was a desire to enlarge our family. If possible, we wanted to expand our small family by at least one kid at some future date. How, and exactly when, we did not know.

We moved to Clifton with many goals in mind. One major goal was a less hectic home-life, with room to grow. A step in the direction for enlarging our family.

"Why not adopt?" If you've ever adopted a child you are to be commended. Also, you understand the unique problems or hurdles that must be overcome before, during, and after the adoption process. We looked into this extensively, and decided it would not be our first choice. We decided that surrogacy would be a better option for us.

"Why India?" When we decided on gestational surrogacy (egg donor & surrogate are not related) we realized immediatly that the biggest hurdle was financial. Here in the USA the price tag is between $80,000-$120,000 (on the higher end for twins, or complications). When we began researching a few years ago that cost for us was prohibitive, so we began looking overseas at surrogacy clinics in other countries.

It took about a year before deciding that India would be an ideal place for us. We found a surrogacy center who's goals seemed to harmonize with ours, SCI Healthcare ( The staff was friendly. The managing doctor Shivani Gour, MD had overseen hundreds of successful births, and was loved and well respected by her many clients. We then chose an egg donor that mirrored our own combination of Asian/Caucasian ethnicity, giving our children that desired blend. Then we decided on a surrogate to carry our child/children. Then there was the medical and legal issues to get in order. By early 2012 things were in place, and invitro fertilization was performed

Our first attempt ended with a miscarriage in early 2012, and that was very discouraging. We decided to immediately give it another try, and that attempt was a success (as the above documents can attest to).We hoped for one, but we were blessed with twins! 

p.s. Here's a New York Times article from March 10, 2008,  about surrogacy in India. Thought I thought you might enjoy reading about how surrogacy began in India (the information about costs, etc., are outdated).




The surrogacy appeals to married couples, unmarried couples, heterosexual couples, gay couples and single parents. Just take a look at the expansive list of celebrities who have have used surrogacy to start or expand the family:

  • Deidre Hall and Steve Sohmer: David
  • Deidre Hall and Steve Sohmer: Tully
  • Robert De Niro and Toukie Smith: twins Julian and Aaron

  • Kelsey and Camille Grammer: Mason
  • Michael Jackson: Michael Jackson II (aka Blanket)
  • Joan Lunden and Jeff Konigsberg: twins Max and Kate
  • Peri Gilpin and Christian Vincent: twins Stella and Ava
  • Kelsey and Camille Grammer: Jude
  • Joan Lunden and Jeff Konisgberg: twins Jack and Kimberly

  • Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance: twins Bronwyn and Slater
  • Katey Sagal and Kurt Sutter: Esme
  • Dennis Quaid and Kimberly Buffington: twins Thomas and Zoe
  • Marisa Jaret Winokur and Judah Miller: Zev
  • Ricky Martin: twins Matteo and Valentino
  • Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick: twins Marion and Tabitha
  • Michelle Stafford: Natalia

  • Cristiano Ronaldo: Cristiano
  • Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: twins Gideon and Harper
  • Chris Daughtry and Deanna Daughtry: twins Adalynn Rose and Noah James
  • Elton John and David Furnish: Zachary
  • Vern Yip: Gavin
  • Bill Horn and Scout Masterson: Simone
  • Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban: Faith Margaret
  • Elizabeth Banks and Max Handelman: Felix, March 2011
  • Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower:  Helen
  • Alexis Stewart: Jude
  • Vern Yip: Vera
  • Alexis Stewart: Truman



Our Wedding

One of the happiest days of our lives, August 20, 2007...a beginning.

A brief history...

      John is of Chinese/Vietnamese descent; his family having immigrated to the USA when he was 3 years old. He moved from New Orleans to NYC when he was 10 years old. His family settled in Flushing, Queens, & set up shop in Manhattan's Chinatown on Canal St. John later went to school, & became an accountant.

      I was born in the Ozark Mountains of northwestern Arkansas. Ours was a rural life. My family grew a garden,  & raised some livestock (some pigs, chickens, guineas, & rabbits) for food. I also lived a few years in Oklahoma City. When I was 19, I  moved to New York City in 1995, settling in Brooklyn Heights, NY.  When I met John, I was living in Jersey City, & in the process of switching careers. I was in nursing school.

      John & I first met, in person, on the Manhattan-side entrance to the Brooklyn Bridge. We walked across the bridge & had brunch at the Clark St. Diner. After that first walk there were a few things we both agreed on - monogamy, marriage, & a family. It was soon afterwards, we began pursuing those goals together.

      August 20, 2007, was our official, legal, contracted beginning. A promise made to each other before witnesses  & the world, of our shared love & pursuit of life's goals. It has been 5 wonderful years!

Our house July 2012

Here's our lovely little house in Clifton, NJ. Our neighborhood is quiet, & the neighbors friendly. We know many of them by name, & even exchange Christmas gifts & cards with a few. There are two other gay couples on our block. Next door lives Don & Gary, & a few houses down on the opposite side of the street live Ira & Patric. I especially enjoy gardening, I put in the flower gardens myself :o)